March 29, 2007

More Waiting

I miss having a beta every other day. But I'm half way through the 1ww until the scan on Monday. Sometimes I'm good at not thinking about it. There's nothing I can do but wait anyway. But I'm also starting to get nervous about it. Just like I was convinced I'd never get a positive hpt, I am convinced there will not be anything on the screen when they probe around for the sac. I just can't imagine it. I guess that's my way of preparing myself for major disappointment.

Symptoms are coming and going and changing. I know this is normal and for the most part I don't obsess over it. I just really feel like I'm about to get my period, which makes me think my uterus is ready to dispense with whatever is/was going on in there if it weren't for the progesterone keeping it all nice and plump. It is not the same kind of cramping/stretching/growing feeling of a week or two ago. I had a week or so of queasiness and feeling very particular about what I ate, but that's gone. The massive boob pain comes and goes but is absent more than present. I'm nowhere near as tired. But I also have fun new skin blemishes telling me my hormones are still up to something. I just don't know. I really am trying not to read into this, but for those who have asked for updates, that's what's going on.

If things are still going along as they should, here is what the embryo(s) are up to now: Visible Embryo: Stage 12. It's pretty freaky looking. If it's growing, such massively important things are going on in there now, with the brain, spine, heart, etc. It's weird trying to be conscious of that and eat healthy and so on while at the same time feeling rather doubtful that we're going to see anything at the scan. The thing about waiting to find out if you are (still) pregnant, is that you absolutely can not have a drink at a time when you absolutely would love to have one.

11 comments:

Valerie said...

I know what you mean, it is so hard to be in limbo. Monday is almost here and soon we will get to know what is going on in your uterus. I personally think one perfectly healthy embie growing like he/she is supposed too. I am keeping all my fingers and toes crossed for you.

Kate said...

Oh, Sarah, I *so* know how you feel. Waiting is a bitch. In terms of symptoms, I personally have not had any real symptoms until week 6 with the three pregnancies that actually made it that far. So I would not worry about symptoms coming and going--it is still pretty early. And in terms of cramps (since I was freaking out about those last week), I have spoken with an OB and a midwife who both confirmed that those "feels like my period is about to start" cramps are very normal in the first trimester. I hope the next few days go by really fast for you.

Watson said...

Good Lord,

I need a drink just looking at that picture!!

Is that a bad sign? I'm afraid that is a bad sign...

But in all seriousness, I do wish you the best and hope that time goes by quickly and brings you good news!!

Lindsey said...

Come on, Monday! Quit draggin' ass!
I will be sending you positive thoughts. I sincerely hope you do get to stare in disbelief at a beautiful little flash on that screen. I really do.

Good thoughts coming your way...

RTTguapa said...

i love how you are so accepting of all the crap that comes with IF - it's very healthy. BUT things sound like they're going pretty well for you. hope monday comes in a zip and you get a pretty picture like the one you posted ;p

good luck!!

My Reality said...

I am hoping that Monday comes quick and is filled with great news!

Lil Sis Kate said...

Dude, your Maybe Baby is scary looking!!! If you need help passing the time this weekend, I have lots of ideas!

serenity said...

Seems like it's all about waiting. Waiting, waiting, and more waiting.

I will be hoping that you get great news on Monday - though I have to agree with lil sis kate - it's pretty freaky looking right now. :)

Reproductive Jeans said...

Oh fun is the limbo land! I am worried about not getting a BFP cause I have no symptoms...blah!
Keeping all hope that your pregnancy is a great one!

Colleen said...

Sending you lots of positive vibes for Monday, and I would be happy to have a drink for you!!! :)
Hang in there girl!!
Foxy

Artblog said...

Wow, those images are always amazing, no matter how many time you come across them on the net and in books!

I also never had any symptoms until at least 6 weeks. They come suddenly, there's no mistaking them!

I'll be in London Monday, but I'll check in when I get back, cannot wait to read some good news from you then :)

Love Artblog