November 21, 2008

Thanks

I had the mock transfer on Wednesday. Again they said everything looks just like it did in '07 which I find strange having had, you know, a person grow in there in the meantime, but I'm certainly glad it was all fine and normal. And there's more to be thankful for: we have IVF coverage this time around! In 2007 we had no coverage at all so we paid $20k for shared risk. When the financial coordinator I met with noticed we lucked out on our first cycle she actually snickered. Sorry, she says, that's just funny. Under her breath I'm pretty sure I heard her say "suckkkkker." Whatever. Totally worth every dime. This time around we have 80% coverage for three attempts per live birth, which I think might be the mandate in Maryland. Not sure about meds. With the coverage come the hassles, minor by comparison, but we have to wait for pre-approval before we can write the protocol since the coverage will determine which drugs, etc and approval can take 2-6 weeks so we still plan to start BCPs in December but I guess there's no guarantee we'll be ready for stims in January.

Today I ran into a friend who just got a BFN on her fourth IUI/injectable. She's an acquaintance really and I couldn't say anything because I'm not sure if I was supposed to know. I had the baby with me and I felt like such an ass, knowing that's the last thing she needed to see. I wanted to ask her to have drinks and talk but I couldn't intrude on our mutual friend's confidence. I think she's knows I'm about to start IVF again but I remember being where she is and feeling that those people who had crossed over to the other side were not my people, or I wasn't one of them, or something else isolating like that. I remember so clearly that last IUI we did, when we knew we'd exhausted that route and had big decisions to make about where to go next. I wanted to adopt and J wanted to do IVF so we took a year off. It was such an incredibly hard time and I can feel it like it was yesterday. I feel so much sympathy for this person I don't really know and wish her the best. I hope in a year or two she will be looking back at this time while her baby naps as I am right now.

I've mentioned that I secretly harbor hopes that this cycle will go down pretty much like the last one, but infertility truly is not the same pain when you have a little family member snuggled up in her room, and I'm so very thankful of how different this cycle is because of it. Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

November 17, 2008

One

I went in this morning for a baseline. Very happy to see the same sonographer I've had since 2005. My uterus is still there. RE said everything looks the same. Which is kind of amazing considering what went on in there since the last time they had a look, but I liked the sound of it.

Piper is one. She walks and talks. She calls me mama, throws fits and likes to cuddle. I'm ready for another, but it's very weird to think of her not being the only one. She's the center of our universe. She has her own stationery.


(thank you notes from her birthday party)