July 13, 2009

Note to Self & the Third Trimester

Dear Mothers of Teenage/Adult Children,
Please don't feel the need to stop me in Starbucks on a daily basis and tell me how fast the time goes and to enjoy it. I could cry about this all on my own on a daily basis, thankyouverymuch. The only thing stopping me from looking you squarely in the eye and telling you that after waiting five painful years for this you're damn right I appreciate every single moment and yes it is heartbreaking to feel it slipping so swiftly through my fingers is that I understand your compulsion is based on the little ache the passage of time has left in your own heart.

Dear Future Self,
Please try your best to resist stopping new mothers to tell them this. If they don't already know how how fast it goes or to appreciate their babies, your words would be lost on them anyway.


I can't believe the third trimester started last weekend, and right on cue with the back pain, belly pain, leg pain, knee pain, etc. I'm feeling stretched and heavy and believe me, I wouldn't trade this status for anything in the world but it is starting to wear me down. I'm getting slower and I can't keep up with all the gardening I'd hoped to finish before anyone mentions the word bedrest. At the same time, things are getting busier. A friend pointed out the other day that if this baby arrives at 37 weeks like Piper did I have only 10 weeks to go. Holy shit! Two main things to get done:
- getting Piper's "big girl" room ready, so the transition isn't on her all at once when the baby arrives. There are already signs that this isn't going to be easy, like when I held a friend's baby recently and she promptly tried to swat it out of my arms. Or the major "no baby!" protest she put up when we went shopping for a gift for another baby. (Any advice on preparing a two year old for a sibling greatly appreciated!)
- ramping up my nanny search. The plan is to have a nanny start in the next month or two, again to ease Piper's transition, and have her ready when #2 arrives. One nanny is cheaper than two daycares and since I work from home, this would (ideally) allow me to nurse the baby on breaks from the office.

My blood pressure continues to spike, I've tested it as high as 146/85 at home, but it always goes down to the 120's or lower after resting. I see the MFM Monday and I'm almost certain he will recommend meds at that point, which my OB said he would be on board with. He was very skeptical that it would actually help which is why the OB practice hesitates to do it, but having been reassured that the right drug choice poses no serious risk, and certainly far less risk than IUGR, I don't see why we wouldn't at least give it a try. Especially since "bedrest" is hardly a realistic option with a toddler running around the house.

Nasty Glucose test Thursday. Wish me luck that I don't wreck my car after falling into a sugar coma on my way home.


Anonymous said...

My BP came down 20 points - both numbers with the meds in a matter of days. It could work for you, too.

Jamie said...

Hang in there. Pregnancy is rough -- no matter how much it is wanted.

I'm in the process of looking for a nanny. Do you have any good hints or tips?

Lorraine said...

I used to HATE being told to enjoy the baby time - my daughter was colicky and clingy and couldn't be put down or left with anyone and it was really really draining. Being told it was all downhill was just so depressing.

I would tell them that surely there must be some great time after the clingy toddler phase and before the crazy teenage years - but none of them ever agreed. The fact that I have had such a great relationship with my daughter, better every year, is not so much a testament to the fact that we are unique as to the truth that the only people who would ever come up and tell you not to rush things are not necessarily the sort of people you really need to take advice from. My advice is, smile and nod, and make your getaway!

Furrow said...

I'm nodding in agreement with Lorraine -- things just keep getting better, as far as I'm concerned.

You're in your 3rd trimester?! Where has the time gone?

Red said...

I feel the time fly by all too fast too, but I agree that there are many great years to come as the kids grow up. After that there are always grandchildren!

Artblog said...

Much luck for the test! take a good book with you :)

mekate said...

no car wrecking, not allowed. just. not.
and you, my dear, larger and slower, no doubt! I cannot believe you are in the third trimester already. you are allowed to tell us how you feel, none of us, NONE OF US will mistake discomfort for lack of gratitude.

speaking of gratitude-- thank you THANK YOU for your sweet support. I feel crazy, but it is nice to know so many folks understand.

Good luck with all of your transitions at home, with the rooms and with a Nanny and Piper --- it makes sense to spread things out, you're smart to do so. But even good transitions can be rocky, I feel for you.

warm wishes to you, and wishes of comfortable body and behaving bloodpressure.


Kate said...

Whoa, third trimester? Holy cow. Hope the glucose test and the MFM appointment went well. We must talk about the nanny business. Oh, how I wish you lived closer so that we could share mine. It would really solve all of my problems, I kid you not. Can't wait to see pics of Piper's big girl room.

Tam said...

Time is flying, I can't believe you're in the 3rd trimester now!! Hope everything sorts itself out with your BP!!

Thanks for all your love and support, I really do appreciate it and the fact that you're still there for me. Xxxx

Cibele said...

3rd trimester it is very hard... i still remember. Good luck with the glocose test today

Anonymous said...

hope things are still going well lady. just thinking of you.